Being passive aggressive

I am passive aggressive. I used to dislike this about myself. When…I was the unpopular girl in school. And when separation from my 15 year relationship meant abandonment by his family…a family that used to mean the world to me. They were my whole world- after my kids and my career, that is.

The hurt from that abandonment…so acute that even its consideration had me considering other things. Like remaining in an unfulfilling, quasi-unhealthy relationship long past its expiration.

And now, working through the betrayal and hurt, I use my passive aggression as a tool to cope. It fuels me to further my career…to write…to obtain my graduate degree…to become more successful.

“Whatever works for you,” some say. That’s a bogus, loaded sentiment. (What if rape and murder of the innocent is what works for me?) THIS is what works for me; obtaining my masters degree is what works for me; writing about social injustices in order to change them; doing better in spite of and to spite the unsupportive many, is what works for me. Any juvenile and/or post-separation behavior and relations says a lot more about the one acting out the behavior than the recipient. Now, if I can just remember that.

 

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